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Part 3

It was with mixed feelings that we woke up on day 3. We were exhausted after the grueling drive the day before and we dreaded (at least Laurie and I did, who had done it before) the 3 hour off-road drive to Belauri. But, we were also very excited to see the children. We had talked about this for so long and Sam and David had heard about this place so many times that they couldn't wait to go. After all, this is one of the main reasons why we came to Nepal.

So, we met Delindra and took of in our Jeep. We decided to purchase some things for the children before we took of, like backpacks and school material, and then headed for the dreaded oh-so-you-call-this-a-road drive. When I asked Delindra about any improvements to the road he said "no, not really" but when we spotted Belauri after only 1 hour I just chalked that up to "lost in translation" and was happy to arrive 2 hours earlier than expected...and as always with a mixture of excitement and nervousness that came over all us as we turned onto the street where the apartment is. David and Sam and Laurie had never met the children so this was the big meet!

In short, everybody had a really good time. First, it's greetings and awkwardness. Then it is small hugs and attempts at communication. Laughing and giggling all the time. Nervous looks. Excited looks. Running in and out of rooms.
Then as the nerves settled a bit Sam and David and the children started playing and having a great time getting to know each other. It was a joy to see. I was also very impressed to see that they ate all the food they were given. I mean, here we are in Far West Nepal and out in a field in a tiny village being served home cooked Nepali food...and they loved it and ate it all up. Not just hot dogs, fries, hamburgers, Pizza and Tacos!

The drone flying experience was a little strange. As we went out to the local field/park to have fun with the children and play football and volleyball and see Sam fly his drone, hundreds of children and youth came to watch. Most of them were kind and sweet and curious but the older youth were not so kind...or at least trying to be cool. It was just a little much and when they started to make the Family Home children uncomfortable we left. It was just better  playing together at the apartment without the massive attention and they really found stuff to do or say. Again, impressive.

As for Laurie and I we went from hugging and playing and talking to the children to being with Sunita and Delindra checking on how things were going with them and the children and the Family Home in general. Things are going well! The book keeping is getting much better. The children are healthy and doing better in school (some as good as top 3 in the school). The houseparents are happy...but also looking forward to a bigger place.
I forgot to tell you! In Dhangadi we had taken the time to visit the new house we have rented to the Family Home. We decided together that they needed to move, for lots of logistical reasons, to a bigger city and a bigger place...and this house is nice. Brand new, three levels, great kitchen, 4 bathrooms and a yard. It is down a quiet alley but not far from the city center. We (and Delindra and Sunita) are very excited about the move!

There isn't really much to say as far as details about what else happened these two days (or if there is, I will write it tomorrow). We just enjoyed visiting the Family Home and seeing our and their children bond. I think this was one of those "memories for a lifetime" moments. It made the whole journey worth it. Here are some great pictures from two wonderful days:

Visiting India (notice the white border stone in the background)

Driving to Belauri

Driving to Belauri

Driving to Belauri

The poorest of the poor live in these "tents" on government land.

Grass roof, clay or stick walls

Smiles all around

The new house for the "Family Home" in Dhangadi

As per usual, waiting, by ourselves, as we get to the Family Home to see what is going to happen

New backpacks!

Laurie showing them her new guitar

A small part of the crowd coming to see Sam's drone...and the white people :)

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Rooftop fun

One amazing trip, one million impressions - part 2

So, this is Butwal:

Not so amazing. The hotel, however, was nice and comfy and VERY expensive for this unheard of town in the middle of nowhere. $125 per night is a little steep...until you realize the options are, well, not options.

This day, day 2, was the major travel day. According to various maps and GPSs it was supposed to take between 7-8 hours to drive across the plains of Nepal to Dhangadi. Well, it took 11! Why, you ask. Well, because of this:

Notice the jack to the right. Yes, we had a break down. It happened like this.
We were driving along in the mountains on this little road when we encountered a pot hole. As we were driving through it we heard this "-Sproing!!" noise. A metal bolt from the front suspension had snapped! The left front suspension was ruined and the car leaned heavily. We pulled into this little mountain restaurant and our driver tried to fix it...with some spit, some kind of bolt and piece of wood(!). That's all we had. Quite the experience to stand in the pouring rain under a metal roof watching your only means of transportation being fixed with a piece of wood in the middle of the Nepali mountains. Yes, that was a low point. But we made it!
Needless to say, the piece of wood flew out soon enough and the new bolt didn't hold. So we bounced down the road even worse than before until we came to a crossing close to the metropolis of Nepalgunj. That's when we found a mechanic shop that fixed us up in no time and on we went...only to find out that our driver had no idea how to get to Dhangadi, our destination (not that he had known how to get to the hotel in Butwal either, but you know...). So there we were, me sitting with my dying cellphone trying to tell him when to turn. In the dark. With bikes, cars, cows, pedestrians and who knows what coming at us. With no street lights or headlights. It was scary. But we made it!
We finally arrived at the hotel around 9pm, exhausted but also thankful. Amazingly, the boys didn't complain once. Not once! I, on the other hand, had had a pretty bad day sitting in the back seat feeling ripped off by a greedy Jeep owner. (In Nepal you pay the owner of the Jeep, who in turn pays a driver...hopefully. Our driver made $100/month plus $8/day for expenses).

The next day we were headed for the family home and meeting the children(!). It was to be a glorious day. I will try to post some more personal and spiritual reflections later.

His and her bathroom (the pieces of metal).

A pretty impressive bridge over the Karnali river. In the background, the Bardia National park.

One unbelievable trip, one million impressions - part 1

How do you know when you have reached the end of civilization? My measurement is when the best hotel in town says "No, we don't have Coca Cola here". I just heard it for the first time ever this past week and it happened in Dhangadi, Far West Nepal. There is so much to tell that I will have to split this blog post up in several parts.

My family and I just got back from the most adventuresome/grueling/amazing trip we have ever taken. I know that to some of you who are reading this our trip may not sound very "exotic" or "extreme" but to this family it was something else. Here is a map that shows you how we travelled:

Basically, we drove half of Nepal (and the hour estimate on this map is way off. It assumes western highway speeds. Yeah, that didn't happen). The route was Pokhara to the-metropolis-you-all-know-as-Butwal (or Rumpevegg, as our kids called it)-Dhangadi-Belauri-Dhangadi-Bardia National Park-Butwal-Pokhara. It was a 1200km trip (or 750miles) and it was done with the speedometer never reaching 90km/h (55mph). 300km was done doing S-curves and it was the slowest 300km I've ever done. It took 12 hours. This was our Jeep and this was our itenerary:

Day 1 - Pokhara to Butwal. 6 hours of driving through the Himalayan foothills. This is when we realized that our fairly expensive Jeep didn't have much suspension left in it. Needless to say, as we started climbing into the mountains we found out the hard way (literally) that we were in for a bumpy ride. Our (really great) driver let out some air out of the tires and that helped but I can't say I enjoyed the ride. And the buses and trucks flying down the roads...honking and hoping.

I did enjoy the views as we drove through a landscape of dramatic gorges, rivers, bridges and villages. I will never figure out why the Nepali people build on top of ridges and on the side of cliffs. I guess you take the land you're given...or something. The scenery was breathtaking and I am in awe of the Nepali people who populate this land. I kept asking myself, "-How the heck did they do that?".

For those of you who are wondering if the road was treacherous let me just say...sort of. The road was pretty safe and there were siderailings, sort of (again), most of the way but even so I had two thoughts in my mind, taking their turns. The first one was: "-If something brakes on this Jeep or a bus overtakes another bus (please stop doing that!) we're going over a cliff and we will die horribly". The second was: "-Well, it's going ok. We are still on the road". In Norway and Sweden I feel that I can always trust that solid engineers have built the road and that most people have taken extensive driver tests. Here...not so much. Here it's mostly prayers and the hope that the other drivers aren't complete morons. It's mostly prayer.

We finally made it to Butwal and let me just say this: Don't make any vacation plans for this "gem" of a city. It reason for existing is that the mountains stopped (surprisingly abrubtly) and it's finally flat. Amazingly, there is a western style 4-star hotel here, De Novo, that offered everything you can ask for. Hot showers. Room service. Pool (yeah, we didn't try it). Comfy beds. A/C and heaters. Needless to say, we enjoyed it (even if the mosquitos were fast to take advantage of us) and it was a nice little treat that we, unbeknownst to us, really needed the next day.

More to come.

Two weeks in Pokhara

There are many "obvious" things about coming to and being in Nepal. The roaming dogs and cows; the incessant honking and the chaotic traffic; smells both horrible (sewer) and delicious (food). The radiant colors of women's clothing. The dust. The staring. The "Namaste" and the smiles when you greet them. The legion of hole-in-the-wall shops selling the same thing (chips, Cokes, water, soap, toothbrushes, toilet paper); The low prices. The because-you-are-white-we're-increasing-our-prices-150%; The mountains. The scary looking doctor's offices (and even worse hospitals); Advertisments everywhere; Hindu temples/holy trees/stones; the trash.

But there are many other things I have noticed, or that have made an impression on me. For instance, I find it interesting that most medium to large temples are padlocked and gated so that the little statue/god is barely visible. Why? It's a cement/stone statue of some size. Besides, wouldn't the laws of Karma dictate that stealing a statue/god would automatically send you down the reincarnation ladder?
I wonder if the devout Hindu person really gets anything out of the chanting that goes on down by the lake temple for A WHOLE MONTH (Imagine listening to one of those fast talking auction guys for hours upon hours). Funny footnote: our neighbor has a little temple in his yard and every morning at 8 o'clock he jingles some bells, gongs a gong and blows a trumpet. Why? To wake up the god? Some cosmic rooster liturgy?
I wonder if hope exists. I see so many people just sitting around, just staring. I see people living in shacks and mud huts next to $200/night resorts. I see children playing with broken plastic bottles or rubber bands, looking cute and happy but realizing that their parents can't afford the school fees and that that is why they are out playing...until they are grown up and have to find some crummy job just to be able to eat. What hope is there when choices are absent? What can people hope for?
I wonder what people look forward to.
I wonder what makes them happy or content or joyful when their surroundings are so bad.
I wonder how it all works when our landlord invited us to dinner, which was great btw, and she tells us that she prayed "to her god" (quote) for help when she didn't have any renters. According to Scripture, she was praying to a demon and God didn't hear her...along with billions of others. You never think about that when you live in a "Christian" country. What is the theology of that?

I also wonder what the white american woman was thinking who came into our restaurant and promptly decided to do yoga on the floor and railing by our table. What was that all about?
I don't wonder about the many descriptions in the Bible about mountains and the "mountain of the Lord" and similar themes. It is, in fact, quite obvious that a huge mountain will make you quiet and in awe and I get that view every morning.

Today we went to church. It was St. Ann's Catholic church and it was a normal Mass. Laurie and I were excited to be in the fellowship of believers (church) and in semi-familiar surroundings. I can't say that the service was amazing but the normalcy and comfort of the language and the rituals and the songs were nice. I enjoyed it. Another funny note: 5 minutes AFTER church should've started, but hadn't, the deacon walks over to our pew and asks if anyone in the congregation can do the reading for the day. Laurie volunteered me. So there I was, reading the confusing order of worship, trying to find out what exactly I was supposed to do. Should I cross myself? Bow before the altar? Say anything before or after the reading? But I read the Scripture and can now say that I have participated in a Catholic Mass :).
We also found a local market close-by where David almost got his wish of seeing a chicken killed and cooked (he just wants to know how a chicken meal is prepared). We did see them cook a newly fethered chicken with a blowtorch and that was good enough.

Next Thursday we leave for the Family Home and the children (and a jungle safari and Buddhas birthplace). We are super excited and a little apprehensive about the long car ride. There aren't exactly any Statoils along the way for snacks and/or bathrooms breaks. The kids are flexible enough, though, that it should be fine.

For now and until next time,
Andreas

Did I mention that Nepalese love colors?

One of many boat days. They're looking at the Gurkha village over "there".

Let me tell you about Pokhara, Nepal and its people

It's been five days so I am no expert by any means but it is hard to walk the streets of Pokhara and not notice things. Different things. Dangerous things. Funny things. Normal things.

There is a distinct flavor to the tourist district, which is to be expected. The white people, as we call them, all look kind of hippie-ish. Some are wannabees, some live here permanently. The hair is a mess, the pants are Indian style baggy. There is always a back-pack. The brand North-Face is everywhere although nobody shops at the North-Face store.
The locals seem to be heading somewhere else.
Many shops are runs by foreigners that are never present. They usually have a woman in the store that calls the owner, a man, when decisions need to be made. Yes, it is a very male dominated country and even though I think feminism is mostly bunk and gender theory even worse I don't think it is fair that, for instance, the men shovel a bunch of sand for cement making into these huge baskets that the women have to carry on their heads. Or that they make the women run their shops but not really. Or that the men sit and place cards and the women do all the work. Our landlord, a woman, is married but her husband is in India for fun and she has three tenants, two boys and a job in an office. Hmmm.

In Pokhara there are dozens of massage and spa places (all with the same western pictures of white people getting massage in fancy spas) but I wouldn't go there for anything. I wonder why they have so many massage and spa places (and no, they are not fronts for depravity). Who knows? (which is a VERY frequent saying here). Very Hinduistic. Who knows with so many gods and random chance running rampant.

They light fires everywhere, much like the Norwegians. They do it for the heat, like Norwegians, but here they do it outside along the streets and in-between tables with flowing tablecloths in outdoor restaurants(!). Seriously, when they moved a firepit close to two small children where people walked by all the time and firewood on fire(!) kept falling out of it, I couldn't ignore it and kept it under close watch.
Small groups of people huddle around the tiny fires who are fed with poor quality wood (or scrap wood) because it is cold here at night (around 0 Celsius). Our apartment isn't much warmer but we have blankets and more blankets. Of course, the heater is in the shop and the repairman is in the hospital...but such is the nature of adventures. They are never like home.

Our host, Ajit, is an incredible Nepali man and I don't think he is an unusual Nepali. He's only 27 but for example: the other day we told he we wanted a table and some chairs for our extra room to do school activities. He proceeded to give us a free (nice) table and chairs from his own restaurant. Then today when we asked him about where and how to buy local food he drove me around to the non-touristy areas such as the local rice and vegetable whole-sale places and got me stuff for dirt cheap. He then took me to his house where he offered me tea, introduced me to his family and cut vegetables from his own garden and gave us eggs from their own chickens just to be nice. He then took me to places to find iodine tablets for cleaning the vegetables and then took me home on his motorcycle. Have I mentioned that I have only met him five times?

The people are very friendly to the point that they make you feel better inside and make you want to be friendlier yourself. They smile. They say their "Namaste's". They shake their heads when they mean "yes". They wear striking colors (mainly the women). They go out of their way for nothing in return. Of course, everybody isn't a saint but the sun and the people and the (yummy!) food make it a good place to be. Not to mention the stunning scenery. We get to see the mountains in the morning before the clouds come in but in a month or so the winds will come and the vistas should be amazing.

They throat-spit everywhere. Cows and roaming dogs are in the streets. Fancy hotels are next to horrible little boxes of corrugated metal and cardboard...homes. Then there is a birthday bakery with Princess cake and all kinds of stuff. There aren't so many temples here but the (amazing) trees are holy and there are a few statues or actual temples. I don't think Pokhara is a religious town as much as it is a practical/pragmatic town. They have trash cans everywhere AND they recycle. For anyone who has been to Kathmandu this is truly amazing.
Kids of all ages are everywhere, playing with rubberbands tied into balls or empty plastic bottles. They all look adorable. The young men are trying to be cool and the young girls are trying to be indifferent. I think this part is normal for everywhere, though.

I think I am coming to terms with being here now. I have felt responsible for making sure that Laurie and the kids are not only safe but happy here. Is it too cold? Too hot? Too unsafe? Too boring? To sparse? Too far away from downtown? Too spartan? Too crazy? Too different?
This morning we had devotions and then impromtu-school. Then free time. Then walk down to the lake for some lunch and shopping and then home to more free-time and relaxing. Finished with good local food from Ajit's restaurant and then, amazingly enough, a movie night with big screen and chips. That was normalcy and it was good.
Life is good here. We pray more. Read the Bible more. Worry about what we eat more ;). Shower and brush our teeth with our mouths closed. Read more. Bond more. Soon more adventures will come but for now I think we are finding our Nepali normal...and I like it.

Here are some pictures:

Big screen movie night

Birthday cakes galore two houses over from us. Who would have thought?

A familiar sight. Electrical and phone wires/cables EVERYWHERE. This was the view from our lunch restaurant.

Here is one of the few temples we have seen.

Now living in Pokhara, Nepal

We have arrived in Pokhara, Nepal, and everything is working out great. I am amazed that we haven't had any real problems or issues with this entire thing. Selling a house in Norway and moving to Nepal has been pretty smooth, almost easy, and I am confident that the Lord has been with us.

To be sure, it is an overwhelming thing to move like this. Everything is new and nothing is the same as home. However, everything is not new for me or Laurie. We have been here before and seen it and experiences it. Sam and David are experiencing everything for the first time...and "everything" is a lot here in Nepal. The smells, the sights, the people, the language, the food, the sounds, the apartment, the isolation. They are doing super well and are adjusting and adapting better than Laurie and I did the first time. They do miss their friends and especially David misses Norway, his friends and just having all the comforts he knows. It is not easy for him, nor Samuel, to leave Norway for Nepal, but we feel confident and see great promise that the adventure and all the interesting things about Nepal will win them over. They are already asking for homeschooling to begin!

...which it will as soon as the apartment is ready for it. It is a really nice place and we just need to add a few things to make it functional for what we need. Since we just packed up a whole house we are keenly aware of what a normal Norwegian house contains and needless to say, this apartment lacks many things we are used to. But it is a nice place and it feels good to come home to it. Once we get a bookshelf, a heater (it gets cold at night) and a table/chairs setup for the school room we should be in business. Our landlord is great and our host/friend here is super helpful. For one thing, he just got us Nepali sim-cards for our phones in his own name today. The boys appreciated not having to come along for that since they had already walked 20,000 steps today(!).

Here are some pictures:

 

Here are the boys along the lakeside walkway in Pokhara. 20 degrees in January...not bad. 

Here the boys are goofing off downtown Pokhara after the meal we had at the Chinese restaurant. So far, we are 0-2 when it comes to finding good dinner restaurants. We're doing much better with breakfast places. Looking forward to some homecooked meals soon.

This is the restaurant we went to. I never got my meal, which was fine since Sam had ordered the same thing and I found out that it was gross when I tasted it. Laurie got gluten-full noodles when asked for gluten free. David got a big plate of yummy food, which was good since we went there for him. Drinks arrived eventually. They didn't speak English.

So, we can so far conclude that the hot water works well, we have drinking water and good electricity, we have WiFi (more in name than in speed) and we have 3G internet on our phones (faster). It takes 20 minutes to walk to the tourist area with all the restaurants, our area is quiet (save for the occasional dog), we know our way around Pokhara enough to walk freely, our apartment gets cold at night/morning but heats up fast, we are not sick...all in all it's all good.

Pray for David's and Samuel's adjustment and for our family to draw closer to each other and God as we depend more on family and God now than perhaps ever before.

Resting in the Lord and with love from Pokhara, Nepal,
Andreas

T minus 1

My family and I are flying to Nepal tomorrow to embark on an adventure of huge propotions. We have sold our house and will be gone for several months, living in the city of Pokhara in the foothills of the Himalayas.

There are many reasons why we are doing this and some of them will find their way to this blog. My wife Laurie will blogg on kjernald.blogspot.com and my son Samuel will blogg on thekjernalddays.blogspot.com. Feel free to read their posts and get additional insights and perspectives on what we are doing and why we are doing it.

We are very thankful for this opportunity and we intend to make the most of it, seeking God for our future and how to best serve him, as well as creating memories for a life time and build our family even stronger. We will also work on our children's home/Family home and visit the children as well as expanding our dream.

So please, read and comment on our blogs and be a part of our journey. We would love to hear from you and know that you are with us and it will help with us staying connected as well to family and friends.

Until the next time,
Andreas

Den rena kyrkan

Om det var Kalvin eller någon annan protestant har jag glömt men det var i Genevé under Reformationens glansdagar som en nystartad rörelse/kyrka försökte sig på att skapa en ren kyrka, dvs. ren i tro och teologi. Det har man gjort många gånger men denna gång tog man det lite längre. Man kastade inte bara ut de som hade fel tro eller teologi, man till och med dödade en del som ansågs som extra farliga eller oförsonliga i sin irrlära. Ord och visor, minsann.

Nu för tiden är det inte lika farligt att tro som man vill i våra kyrkor. Under mina år som både präst eller kyrkobesökare har jag aldrig hört talas om att någon har blivit utkastad ur en församling, än mindre dödad. Det vore liksom höjden av icke-politiskt korrekt beteenden, eller hur? Den fria tanken måste bevaras! Ingen har rätt att döma en annan! Vem kan sätta gränser för tron?

Jag måste erkänna att jag förundras över kollegor och andra inom kyrkan, som liksom har som uppdrag att vara experter på tro och teologi, att man är så snabb till att avsäga sig ansvar för vad som är rätt och fel tro. Det verkar som om rätt tro har väldigt lite värde och att den kristna tron har blivit mer och mer som "tro" är i allmänhet. En osäkerhet och en åsikt...något den kristna tron absolut inte är.
Andra hävdar att det är av ödmjukhet man väljer att linda in vad man tycker och tror är rätt och riktigt i luddigheter. Istället för att säga att:
"- Om man inte tror på Jesus kommer man inte till Himlen" så säger man:
"- Det finns en möjlighet att det kanske är så att den som väljer, av olika orsaker och omständigheter, att inte tro på Jesus inte nödvändigtvis men möjligen gör det utifrån den personens bästa förmåga och kunskap vilket i sig möjligen är allt man kan förvänta sig utifrån den historiska-litterära forskningen senaste rön". Men ödmjukhet och luddighet är inte detsamma. Är det arrogant att hävda något man vet? Är det arrogant när Jesus säger "-Den som inte är med mig är emot mig."? Är det arrogant när Jesus säger: "- Jag känner dig inte. Vik bort från mig!". Är det arrogant när Jesus säger: "Ingen kommer till Fadern utom genom mig."?

Många menar dock att det måste vara så här. Det finns ingen objektiv sanning och det finns ingen "rätt" tro. Jesus kanske hade det, men vi är inte Jesus. Många menar att det är en självklarhet att var och en inte bara får utan också ska bestämma sin egen tro. Talesättet "Var och en blir salig på sin tro" har blivit den nya dogman, det orubbliga, även om många skulle motsätta sig detta om dom fick frågan rakt upp och ned. Men i praktiken blir det så. Om ingen påstår sig ha den rätta tron eller känna till den rätta tron så blir allas tro lika rätt....och således lika fel.
Det det egentligen handlar om är att vi har slutat att tro på ursynden eller syndens moraliska och etiska förödande och giftiga konsekvenser i våra liv. Vi tror vi är oskadade och friska och kapabla. Men det är vi inte.

Men...

Det finns ett annat problem. Om vi skulle komma överens om att osann och en felaktig teologi/tro leder oss åt fel håll (en ganska sund tanke, tycker jag) och att rätt och sann tro/teologi inte bara finns teoretiskt utan också är möjlig praktiskt/i verkligheten, hur vet vi vad den är? OCH, inte minst, hur är vi kyrka/kristna tillsammans om vi hittar den? Hur är man en teologiskt sann kyrka?

Det finns olika förslag hur man gör detta. Som jag sa så har det ibland gått så långt att man har dödat varandra. Det tror jag är dumt. Min kyrka, the United Methodist Church, har valt att sammanställa vad vi menar är rätt och sann tro i vår kyrkordning (som vi röstar om vart 4.e år), en bok som är rätt tjock. Andra har en påve och ett Magistrum. Några sitter stilla tills Anden har talat och 100% samstämmighet råder. Andra låter stor frihet råda bland församlingar och kristna.

Det de flesta kyrkor har gjort är att man följer i Jesus och Paulus fotspår och har metoder och möjligheter att utesluta medlemmar, präster och biskopar som gör som dom vill istället för vad kyrkan vill/tror. Paulus kastade ut en människa ur en församling "...sedan ni och min ande med vår Herre Jesu makt förts samman, för att överlämna den mannen åt Satan till köttets fördärv, för att anden skall bli frälst på Herrens dag."
Jesus sa "Om din broder har begått en synd, så gå och ställ honom till svars enskilt, mellan fyra ögon. Om han lyssnar på dig, har du vunnit din broder. Men om han inte lyssnar, ta då med dig en eller två andra, för att varje sak må avgöras efter två eller tre vittnens ord. Lyssnar han inte till dem, så säg det till församlingen. Lyssnar han inte heller till församlingen, då skall han vara för dig som en hedning och publikan.

Jag undrar om det finns andra alternativ för jag ser hur svårt det är med disciplin i kyrkan. Vem vill kasta ut en medlem ur en kyrka när det är så otroligt svårt att få in medlemmar? Löper vi inte risken att bli en kärlekslös och Farisée kyrka om vi börjar kasta ut människor som tror som vill och/eller lever i öppen synd? Kanske.

Men jag är övertygad om att det är minst lika skadligt att låta synden få härja fritt bland medlemmar och pastorer och diakoner och biskopar. Hur kan vi erbjuda världen frälsning från synd om vi samtidigt tillåter den i oss själva, om vi inte kämpar mot den med allt vad vi har istället för att ge den plats, i "snällhetens" namn? Jesus kallas för den sårade läkaren, inte den sjuka läkaren.

Jag kommer ihåg när jag blev frälst. Det började med att jag konfronterades med min synd. Jag kan inte påstå att det var roligt eller trevligt och det var absolut inte något som gjorde att jag ville bli medlem i en församling. Men det gjorde att jag, kanske för första gången, stötte på något "motstånd" något som sa "Det du gör är inte rätt. Du måste omvända dig". Jag var tvungen att ta ställning till något utanför mig själv som inte bara klappade mig medhårs och gav mig en applåd. (Det var jag rätt bra på själv.) Jag var tvungen att ta ställning till Jesus ord som dom stod och sa: "Omvänd dig och tro!", sa han. För en gångs skull förstod jag vad han menade. Jag förstod vad jag skulle omvända mig från och vad han vill frälsa mig från...men också vad han ville frälsa mig till.

Jag tror vi som tror på Jesus och har mött Jesus i hans frälsning har allt att vinna på att vara människor som är lika tydliga som Jesus på syndens allvar och giftiga verklighet MEN också lika tydliga på just hur fantastiskt det verkligen är att bli fri från den. Det finns mycket man kan säga om kyrkans struktur och så, särskilt min egna som just nu är i kris. Men jag tror att det är viktigare att vi återerövrar platsen som experter på synd och frälsning, utifrån personlig erfarenhet och Biblisk övertygelse i full förening med den historiska kyrkan. Sedan kan vi rädda valarna eller köra mindre bil eller köpa mer rättvist kaffe.

Kyrkans två ansikten

Jag var på gudstjänst i helgen och satt i kyrkbänken i en mycket gammal svensk kyrka. Åldern kunde tidsbestämmas med hjälp av kyrkbänkens o-ergonomiska utformning. Vad var egentligen tanken med en obekväm bänk, för den måste ju ha gjorts sådan med flit?

För min del är det lite lyx att gå på gudstjänst utan att medverka, i den mån att jag får tid över att reflektera över olika saker som kanske inte har just med gudstjänsten att göra. Denna gången kom jag att tänke på kyrkans två ansikten, eller två fokus. Inåt och utåt som några frikyrkan brukar säga.

Jag vet inte om det är för att allt blir så mycket lättare när man bara har två svar att välja på eller om det är något annat men vi ser allt oftare i vår samtid att det handlar om en polariserad bild av saker och ting...och såklart den utbildade och upplyste samhällskritikern som önskar "något lite mer nyanserat", men vi hoppar över honom eller henne nu.

Kyrkan har alltså två ansikten. För den invigde kallas dom ofta för "konservativ" och "liberal". För andra heter det "gammaldags" eller nyskapande". Ytterligare några tycker om begrepp som "progressiv" eller "evangelikal". Oavsett vilka ord vi använder så är det ofta så här i kyrkans värld, på gott och ont. Bibeln är full av motpoler, läs Johannesbrevet bara så får ni se. Där är det ljus och mörker, liv och död, gott och ont.
I dagens fixerade och ytliga samhälle handlar det oftast om en kyrka/kristen är för eller emot homosexualitet...eller kanske abort (men där är nästan all svenska kyrkor rörande, och tragiskt, överens). Om det är någon som orkar kämpa sig igenom den frågans emotionella minfält och vill föra en saklig debatt så välkommen att avlägga en kommentar på denna blogg så ska jag försöka delta.

Men det jag kom att tänka på där under den ganska tråkiga gudstjänsten, dessvärre, kom jag att tänka på att kyrkan också har två andra ansikten än just vad vi tycker i moral och etik frågor. Vi är en organisation som dels ser andra människor runt omkring oss. Horisontellt. Men vi är också en organisation som ser uppåt mot Himlen och strävar med att se Gud. Vertikalt.
Bibelordet säger till oss i kyrkan att vi ska fästa blicken, och tanken, på det som är "där ovan". Många gånger glömmer vi bort det och kör fast i det som vi ser runt omkring oss. Vi går igång på klimatfrågan eller jämlikhetsfrågan eller rättvisemärkt kaffe frågan eller flyktingfrågan och kör igång. Andra satsar det dom kan på frågan om kyrkans världsliga renhet och trohet mot Gud. Allt sedan Luther så tragiskt spikade upp sina teser har detta varit en heltidssysselsättning för många. Kyrkan måste bli perfekt och sann och trogen och allt.

Men idag vill jag bara komma med en enkel uppmaning. Allt det där "horisontella" är inte det kyrkan i första hand ska hålla på med. Det finns det många andra som gör och ibland lika bra eller bättre än vi. Det ingår men det ska inte vara vårt första eller största fokus. Vi måsta träna oss på att låta blicken och vårt fokus vända sig mot Gud. Till Han vi inte ser.

Man kan liksom vara trött på kyrkan och hennes många misstag men det är svårt att vara trött, eller bli trött, på Gud.
Idag, om du är trött på allt det ynkliga och fega och politiskt korrekta i kyrkan så vänd dig istället till Gud och sök Honom medans han låter sig finnas. Hans nåd har ett bäst-före datum. Tiden är nu.